So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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