I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
