On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
