Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
