Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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