dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
