i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
