PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
