Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
