I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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