forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
