i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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