I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
