jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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