now i know why i became what i already was.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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