My room smells like vodka and shame
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
