Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
