I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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