Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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