dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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