Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize