it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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