trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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