At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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