Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
