The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Me too!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
