hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
