question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
