Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
