i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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