I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
