i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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