I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
