I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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