I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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