i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
