PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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