How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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