Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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