all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
