Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
