I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
