I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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