thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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