Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
