Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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