you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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