And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
