We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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