Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
