You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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