i barfeds in our rink
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
