yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
