i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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