So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
