dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
