the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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