Non-Jews are for practice
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize