He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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