i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
