In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
